4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
