What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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