onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
