why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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