Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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