I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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