Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
