Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
