idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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