used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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