playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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