you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
