im about as happy as oj after his trial
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
