that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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