so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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