the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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