I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
