I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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