Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
