Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
