So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize