I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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