i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
