HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
