I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
