Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
