after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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