You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
