somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
