hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
