Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
