Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
