we're chasing vodka with high fives
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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