All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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