Moan for me like Helen Keller
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
