They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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