Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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