Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
