so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
