I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They have beer where we have blood.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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