ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
