We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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