I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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