the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
