Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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