Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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