I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize