if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize