If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
