that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
