Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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