I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
