i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
