Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
