return my video game
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize