the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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