We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
