i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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