Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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