i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
