So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
