you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
