i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
